"Don't Quit Your Day Job" Records

Tony Goldmark:
"You Bug Me!"

Songs Guaranteed to Annoy Your Parents

Tony Goldmark's first CD is fun, annoying, and sure to make all of the stuffy people in your life go crazy. Dave Barry wrote the liner notes -- and you can read them below.

More About the Recording Selections Artists

Photo Album Live Appearances

DQYDJ HomePage Catalog Ordering Questions & Comments

About "You Bug Me!"

The Washington Post and The Oakland Tribune have reviewed the CD. In the Post, Craig Stolz writes, "Like a kid with french fries up his nose, Tony can be annoying, but he can also be funny. And anyone who does a heavy-metal version of the Barney theme can't be all bad."

Bay Area rock & roll legend Billy Quiver wrote "You Bug Me!" -- a handy song to blast out of your stereo in the direction of whoever's getting on your nerves. The song has a heavy rock beat and starts out like this:

You tell me that you love me but you never ever kiss me. YOU BUG ME
You go and leave me lonely but you never ever miss me. YOU BUG ME
Why don't you just leave? YOU BUG ME
Tony wrote "I Know You're a Fish," a country polka, with his dad, Joe, on pedal steel guitar. Over the cheerful music, the lyrics tell an ominous story:

About a year ago I flushed a goldfish down the toilet
And that has left a gap in my life
And now I know that you are that goldfish
And you want to cut me with a knife
And spread tartar sauce on me, or something you fish would call tartar sauce . . .
The story goes on from there, but you'll have to buy the CD/cassette to find out how it ends. (Hey, movie previews don't give away the endings either!)

"You Bug Me!" is a production of Grandma Records, the children's label of "Don't Quit Your Day Job" Records. Gretchen Schields created the cover art. Be sure to check the Live Appearances page to see about upcoming television and radio appearances.

Dave Barry's Liner Notes for "You Bug Me!"

I have always prided myself on my ability to recognize young musical talent. For example, back during the late 1960s, I happened to be in a bar in Boston, and I took note of a young man who was playing the guitar and singing. And do you know who that young man was? I don't, either. But I'm confident he never became famous, because he had virtually no talent. My point is that I recognized this immediately.
I will tell you the name of a young man who DOES have talent: Tony Goldmark. Tony's musical gift is no surprise, considering his lineage. His dad, Joe Goldmark, is not only a terrific pedal-steel guitarist, but also a world-class pizza chef. His mom, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, is a singer-songwriter-producer who founded the literary rock band, the Rock Bottom Remainders. I'm proud to be a member of this band, along with Kathi, Stephen King, Roy Blount, Jr., Ridley Pearson, Amy Tan, Matt Groening and others. As a band, we suck. But this is not Kathi's fault. SHE has talent, not to mention literally dozens of wigs. And she has clearly passed her gift along to her son, Tony.
Tony not only sings the songs on this album, but he wrote some of them, and they're wonderful. In fact, Tony wrote my favorite song on the album, "I Know You're a Fish," which to my knowledge is the only work by any songwriter in history -- and I include Cole Porter in that statement -- to tackle the sensitive issue of flushing a fish down a toilet. Tony also co-wrote, with his mom, "Adolescing," which contains two lines that perfectly sum up the entire complex sociobiological process:
"My parents used to be so smart. Now they are just dumb old farts."
There's also a deeply moving high-tech blues song called "Got My Modem Working," a refreshingly threatening version of the Barney song, and much more. Tony sings these songs with enthusiasm and elan. (Actually, I'm not sure what "elan" is. But I'm sure Tony has it.)
This is obviously a great album for kids. But it's also a great album for grownups who want to hold on to -- or get back -- one of the most precious gifts that nature gives us: immaturity. Buy it. Play it. Sing along with it. And above all, don't forget to fart.

About Tony Goldmark

Read Tony Goldmark's "Don't Quit Your Day Job" Records web page.

Selections on "You Bug Me!"

"You Bug Me!" (Quiver)
"Got My Modem Working" (Foster, K. Goldmark)
"Schoolhouse Blues" (T. Goldmark-K. Goldmark-Ross-Tannenbaum)
"I Know You're a Fish" (T. Goldmark)
"Adolescing" (K. Goldmark-T. Goldmark)
"Look At Me"(Quiver)
"Hello, Operator/I Know a Song . . . " (Traditional)
"My Big Purple Pal" (Bernstein-Parker, Golia-Ross adapt.)
"Money (That's What I Want)" (Gordy-Bradford, added verse by T. Goldmark)
"Great, Great" (T. Goldmark)

Artists

Lead Vocals:
Tony Goldmark
Duet Vocal on "Schoolhouse Blues" & YES! Man:
Sam Tannenbaum
Background Vocals:
Keta Bill, Jane Hardaway, Kathi Goldmark, Kathy "N.G." Right
Bass:
Maurice Cridlin, David O. Golia, Christopher Kee
Drums:
Chris Knight, Peter Tucker
Guitars:
Hoagy Guitarmichael
Keyboards & Accordion:
Henry Salvia
Pedal Steel Guitar:
Joe Goldmark, David Phillips
Saxophone & Conga Drums:
Dave Nelson
Washboard, Percussion, Nose Whistle:
Pete Devine
Gang Vocals & Kazoo:
(Swell Kazoo Tips from Jim Foster . . . A MUST for the Serious Kazooist) Aviva Cushner, Audrey deChadenedes, Jim Foster, Kathi and Tony Goldmark, Jane Hardaway, Christopher Kee, Sam Tannenbaum, Julie Todd
Additional Background Vocals on "Money":
Paul Liberatore and members of Big Meat Combo (Michael Battaglia, Chris Marzolo, Chris Morin, Billy Pearsley, Janice Tanaka)
Producer:
Kathi Kamen Goldmark with Dave Nelson

[HomePage] [Photo Album] [Catalog] [Ordering] [Questions & Comments]