"Don't Quit Your Day Job" Records


We offer music, spoken-word recordings, and T-shirts. Charities chosen by the artists receive a portion of the proceeds from many of these items.

Our catalog describes the recordings and merchandise we sell. We accept payments by PayPal, check, or money order. To order an item by PayPal, click its Add to Cart button below. To check your order, change the quantities, remove an item from your order, or complete your order, click the View Cart button at the top or bottom of the catalog. For payments by check or money order, see our ordering page. We ship to destinations in the United States and Canada. (Unfortunately, except for Canada, we can no longer offer international shipping.)

Photo Album Live Appearances

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Decca & the Dectones: "Decca & the Dectones"
Jessica Mitford died in July, 1996. While she is remembered most for her political activism and writing, she also had a great sense of fun and enjoyed singing around the piano with friends. This recording and the one below capture her musical side. As lead singer of Decca & the Dectones, Ms. Mitford delivers "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" and "Grace Darling" with wit and style.

Cassette Single (#1A): $6.00 USD
CD Single (#1B): $8.00 USD
Maya Angelou & Jessica Mitford: "There Is a Moral to It All"
Decca sings duets with her good friend Maya Angelou. This recording features two songs: "One Fish Ball" and "Right, Said Fred."

Cassette Only (#2A): $6.00 USD
"A Celebration with Maya Angelou, Guy Johnson, and Janice Mirikitani on Guy Johnson's 50th Birthday"
A spectacular spoken-word event is now on cassette for the first time.

Cassette Only (#3A): $10.00 USD
"Lit-Rock Sampler #1"
This is a one-of-a-kind collection of nine songs, each performed by a different artist, including Amy Tan, Norman and Norris Mailer, John Lescroart, and Jessica Mitford.

Cassette Only (#4A): $10.00 USD
"Stranger Than Fiction"
This double-CD set includes most of the Rock Bottom Remainders. There's nothing else like it! Famous Authors and their friends, singing for you! An amazing double-CD containing 32 songs performed by authors including Dave Barry, Oscar Hijuelos, Matt Groening, Ken Follett, Molly Ivins, and Stephen King and more.

Double CD Set (#15A): $25.00 USD
Rock Bottom Remainders: T-Shirt
Members of America's favorite all-author garage band still hold the world's record for number of times told not to quit their day jobs! Band members Stephen King, Amy Tan, Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, Tad Bartimus, Barbara Kingsolver, Robert Fulghum, Joel Selvin, Roy Blount, Jr., Matt Groening, Griel Marcus, Dave Marsh, Al Kooper, Kathi Goldmark, and Tabitha King commemorate their 1993 "3 Chords & An Attitude" tour and book with this T-shirt.

"Suspend Your Credibility" T-Shirt, Color: Paprika, Size Large Only (#5A): $17.00 USD
Big Lou: "Big Lou's Polka Casserole"
Big Lou's solo project features a tasty selection of polka and waltz styles from the American tradition. Dig in!

CD Only (#10A): $15.00 USD
Amy Tan: "Required Reading & Other Dangerous Subjects"
On this spoken-word recording, Amy Tan talks about writing and literature. It's REALLY good, and proceeds benefit the PEN Freedom-to-Write Foundation.

Cassette Only (#11A): $10.00 USD
Tony Goldmark: "You Bug Me! Songs Guaranteed to Annoy Your Parents"
This CD includes what Dave Barry calls "the only work by any songwriter in history . . . to tackle the sensitive issue of flushing a fish down a toilet."

CD (#13A): $15.00 USD
Cassette (#13B): $10.00 USD
Tony Goldmark: "Masterpiece Weirder"
Two years in the making, this CD includes the song "Kill the Backstreet Boys," which made it all the way to #9 on Dr. Demento's Funny 25 of 2000. Also along the way are tributes to Weird Al and Monty Python and brutal spoofs of Carson Daly, Puff Daddy, the Disney theme parks and everything in between.

CD only (#17A): $15.00 USD
Tony Goldmark: "Rage Against the Mundane"
Brand new for 2004, Tony Goldmark presents the Dr. Demento smash "Teeth Clenched" plus tracks like "Britney Zombie," "Trapped In Iowa" and "Positive Upbeat Song."

CD only (#18A): $15.00 USD
Auntie Poo & the Porta-Potties: "Potty Animal: Funny Songs About Potty Training"
Getting kids potty trained is tough work--the funny and frank songs on this CD will have kids singing while they make that long trip down the hall.


Cassette (#14B): $10.00 USD

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catalog.htm -- Revised January 18, 2007
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